Wednesday, December 31, 2008

happy new year!

My page in this year has almost come to an end. As i take glance to what i have done, I see a person with a piece of regret with a hand down low. Some chances i had blown; some heart I couldn't avoid to break but still I couldn't count how many blessings I receive this year. Again, Myself has failed me to bring me to the point of expectation of someone with great hope.
2008 is very special to me because i found my better half. i have someone who i can be thankful for every single day of my life. He inspires me, He helps me make the right decision in life, He treasures me, He trust me, He motivates me,He respect me and most of all He Loves me for what i am and what i am not. I love him so much!!
I just want to thank first, my Family for being my inspiration, for giving me a second chance in my studies, who never give up on me though i have lot's of errors in life.
My Friend, who never leaves me in times of trouble, who always their to guide me and who always stand at my side no matter what happen.
My Hubby, He's the best thing that happen to me this year. I thank him for showing me what real love is and for giving me courage to face all the hindrance in my life.
and of course to our GOD all mighty! without him i am nothing, he's our savior, our father. Without him i don't have a supporting parents, wonderful friends and blooming love life.


Saturday, December 27, 2008

Heart Sandtrap

The more you struggle the more that sand pit of suspicion, doubt and jealousy will eat you up, where your reason and clarity will quickly be devoured by the hungry belly of acceptance. You’re in so deep you justify every intention, waiting for the sun to shine… but little do you know; only the cold lonely rain will wash it all away. Is it wishful thinking or denial? How do you know when your eyes have been tainted with so much and your mind enveloped by your heart? I know how you feel, I can imagine how it is to be caught in your own web of deception to hold together this fragile state you are in with barely visible threads that could be broken by a gentle breeze. I cannot blame you for the way you are, your heart is no longer yours for how can you think for yourself when you are only thinking for him/her? It may all appear crystal clear to me because I stand and watch on the outside thru this looking glass, how do I reflect this upon you? Detachment helps us to see clearly, but love will keep you alive… I guess we’ll leave it up again to the sands of time to unveil everything to you. In the fire of love, hate, deception, jealousy, and pain… the sand will heat into a mirror where only your reflections prevails and you will see that all the happiness and pain stems from the person you see in that reflection. So how do you want to feel?

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas once again!

Christmas is very different now because of the economical crises that we are facing right now. our country is getting poorer because of the corrupt officials who keeps on stealing money from the people in fact our country is the second corrupt country in the word. Hell! can't stand for that. anyways, back to the topic... My Christmas is very different, me and my family used to celebrate Christmas in my aunt's house together with my other relatives. I noticed that we're only few, some of my uncles were not there and their family. One of my Auntie initiated a parlor game for us and for my younger cousins but only few participated and the those least expected people- the teenagers.. the younger once were busy playing games in the cellphone. i felt bad, it was for them but they don't mind but i can't scold them coz i don't want to spoil their day. Christmas if for the kids right? i let them do whatever they wanted as long as they are happy.
Then came the Gift giving.. One by one our Santa's came out with their gift. i got a new pedal from my cousin, a perfume and victoria secret body spray XD XD.. then i won a hanger from my other cousin. ha ha ha silly game! When i look around i noticed that my younger cousin's gifts was more on toys. i remember when i was at their age(around 4 i guess). i keep on telling my aunt to buy me a toy for christmas but they told me that "it's better to give you something useful rather than toys." Every christmas i recieve new dress, new shorts, pants, something that i can wear.
Well, I'm just comparing my generation and now. i don't feel bad, i actually love seeing my cousins play their new toys. as a whole, i had fun celebrating Christmas with my loved once. i already have my Christmas wish and thanks to my dad coz he granted it. till here ^_^ it's still christmas and my relatives will be here any moment now for lunch..

Merry Christmas everyone

Monday, December 22, 2008

cough this christmas

damn, been coughing my ass since Misa de Galo or 9 morning started. it's our country's tradition where Filipino's wakes up early in the morning starting December 16 to attend a mass that will start exactly 4:30 in the morning for 9 straight days until December 24. it said that if you were able to complete that 9 days. your wish will come true. I'm one of those million people who woke up early just to attend the mass but i'm not affter the wish though.
2 days from now and it's finally christmas yet i haven't start chrstmas shopping.i keep on telling my hubby that i really hate christmas rush because there are lots of people in the mall but i have no choice.. need to buy gift for my family, my friends, and my god childerens and this cough annoys me. i'm not feeling well lately, i actually have a fever for 4 days now.though i'm feeling a bit better now.
anyways, i love christmas so much... every year specialy when september arrives... i keep telling people that i can't wait for christmas. I love the blow of the wind that kiss my skin, the freshness of the air that relax me every time i breath, i love watching colorfull christmas lights in every houses that i passed by, i love hearing children caroling and i love the feeling of being carefree.
Christmas is really around the corner and i'm hell excited.

Sunday, December 21, 2008


Beyond the glance of my eyes, I could see a distant world where I am lost in the swirling sea. A dimension of love and illusion. Lonesomeness no one can explain nor can any advice take away the sadness away. I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore yet I’m killing myself to find myself a savior of my passion where I rest my soul in the finish line. I don’t want to fell in love with a dead boy or turned myself into a starfish that’s being cut over and over again.

My kindred spirit could wait in time of salvation where finally I found my peace. An eternalness of ever being to be with someone until time finally stops. But all I found is just lust and no love, is this what the world about nowadays? Flesh seeking for flesh, a delusion of wreckage in front before finally dust meets dust. Sorority of two hearts are so hard to find, maybe I just stop trying and be happy about my lonesomeness.

I talked with me today and he promised to stay with me until the end. No matter what the world changes into, he promised me he won’t change. People broken promises, but not him. People hurt other people, but not him. He protects me from the world, like a cocoon it surrounded me comfortably. We belong as one, he is me and I am him. No one could understand us, only us and there’s just us.

Clocks always ticking on me, like a smooth sea of pearls we clones each other until nothing left from the blue print. Nails on each back clutching to the beat every heart make and silenced it into the black dawn. Crying, flowing majestically upon gates of golden arrows soaring wildly in their heads like shadows speaking to me in my sleep. Blue fingers are taking my sight and placed it back in the tunnels of crystal and smile wisely as he turned his back to the world.

Monday, December 15, 2008

the epitomy of myself

It's 11:30 pm and i'm still here sitting in my room with my annoying brother. i have nothing much. Just simply hearing my thoughts from the day i try to avoid. My mind tries to swim back to the last 10 years where i am totally different from who i am right now. i mean lot of things life has taught me. People come and people go. I'm absorbing those valuable lessons and become someone much mature, sadly in bitter way.
Have you ever think that all people in your life will never, ever stay forever? They will leave you as soon as they had done their part in your life and you learned something from them. they leave you in so many different ways; some are not good ending as you want it to be. But it's true coz i experienced it for myself. Now that i'm turning twenty facing the fact that i have failed to fullfil my dreams since i was a kid. The dream of becoming somebody and have a great life somewhere in my choosen place has vanished in time just like that. i learned my lesson as i see my failures. that everything that i wanted to be supposed to happen. My perfectionism is tested and sees how i can handle disappointment, especially when it comes to me.
So here I am, ready or not, I must take the result that I didn’t get what I want in my own time. I always believe something bigger and better waiting for me in other time. Taming my anger for being disappointed by my own ego is so hard but it’s just another lesson I must learn.

Friday, December 12, 2008


Loneliness… the feeling that made you want to be with someone to begin with. But now, after so long being with him/her, you feel even more alone. Alone because the one who is supposed to understand you, doesn’t, Solitude because what you like and what you want doesn’t seem to matter to him/her, and Cold because the heat and warmth that was once there has been replaced by anger and resentment. Alone and afraid to let go, hope feels like a song you haven’t heard in a long time, and when that tune plays in your mind, you wander to somewhere long ago. Long ago where once you might have been happy?

Then, out of nowhere, temptation comes along in the form of a fresh and juicy fruit. The temptation is perfect in every way, glistening and reflective, warm and happy to the touch. This is truly a heavenly bliss where nothing can go wrong… at least it would appear so to you. The apples in the supermarkets always look perfect and fresh because they are waxed on the outside to preserve its looks on the outside. However, you will find that after the first bite, and enough time passed, it will lose its luster and and its flesh will turn from a glistening white to a dullish brown. So… then what do you do? If each boat we jump is from one slow cooker to another, whats the point? The point is if you have gone thru this once, twice, too many times… then you are the problem. You are not happy with yourself and that is why you pretend to be someone you are not, someone to make him/her happy, someone to do what is necessary to be accepted… wanted. Then that someone you pretended to be becomes a prison to who you are, so you run away to the next temptation after another, but only to find you are merely breaking our of your cell, but not your prison. and your prison is you.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

I choose to jump off the cliff

I am walking over the hills on bright mid day, it feels humid but it actually is raining. Seeing everything that is none existing. Hallucinating. I’m breathing in difficulty for my air is really wanting but the feeling of catching up my breath is bliss. An emotion of which I have never thought is real. Trailing along black and white colored bushes with pink and blue colored birds, I pause. Hearing the birds sing their lullaby, looking at the bushes wave as seemingly fresh wind blows them in to proportion. Despite the dyspneic episodes, I still choose to pause. Though I know I should not to but to not hear them, nor to not see them, I know is a big loss. So there I am, using the fullest minute of my life. I guess? Watching them wave, hearing them sing. Endorphins flood in to my brain. Bliss. Nothing but sheer bliss. I am grateful. I am blessed. However, I know I also have to move forth. Seeing the horizon little by little. Yet the way there is difficult. The soil is mixed up of brittle sand and gloomy clay. A step up, is a big step of life. A step down, is a big step of life. Knowing when to step hard and when to step harder is a challenge. As it is a locomotive twisted claim. However, I am near there. The cliff’s edge. I am coming nearer. I now can smell the potassium at 49% and oxygen at 51. The horizon is bloody yet the water is clear. Seeing creatures vividly. Seeing flora amusingly. A shark invites me to plunge in. Yet I see, pointed rocks of steel everywhere. However, there’s a pretty cool 8 meter spot where pillows with crazy spongebob comforters float. But the sharks invitation to jump off is tempting, uncontrollably weakening my soul and sturdy thought. Crazy as I am. To think hard is never an option. Yet to think smart is. So there I am jumping off the cliff. Very glad for I am weightless.

As I am jumping off, people ideate, speaks blatantly, believing that I am foolish. Yet I know that to loose confinement to my so called “world” is one way of experiencing my existence. To dare take the risk of landing on pillows is never sure but it tests my worth as a person. My human value.

As of now I still do not know whether I am going to land safe. But one thing I am sure of, as I have chosen to jump off the cliff, I have lost my clutches from this world, as I believe that normative peace down there the sea awaits me.


so pissed off! because of my busy schedules i seldomly checked my blog and the result is ? from PR 2 it became a question mark... i'm so depressed again :( ... it took me about almost 2 months to boost my PR rank and yet it just crushed just like that. i'm really really sad. i was really hoping that before the end of the year i'll be PR 3. sorry chenee! too much expectation will hurt you. i'm starting to loose hope on this blog and blogging. hope you people will understand me why i felt this way. blogging is my life. maybe to some it's not a big deal. yeah! it's not really a big deal. i can reach that PR again right? it's just a PR... but the reason why i'm fretting because i expect too much... :(
anyways... better move on... there's a lot of things to than seating here in front of my pc.. need to get my aS$ of here coz i'm late again for school..

Ja ne`

Sunday, December 07, 2008


it's been a while since i last updated my blog and my life is a bit boring right now. having no internet connection at home kills me. can't stand staying at home without internet coz it'll just freak me out. sounds exagerated but it's true. aside from no connection. Final exam is fast aproaching and i haven't scan my notes. Our patron st feast is also fast aproaching and i need to think of an activity for that day since i'm the new elected president of Civic Youth Organization. Damn! have lots of things to do... but i haven't start doing my job. so lazy this past few days.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Tech tips tricks

There's another blog that i find interesting. tech tips & tricks owned by a frustrated programmer ( that's what i saw) but i don't think the author is frustrated though. i actually like it. it consist of information regarding our technologies. i noticed that most of his post are computer related like javascript, windows, net, wizard and other computer program. i don't really understand some of his posts because in the first place my field of knowledge isn't for computers. There's also posts about Online casino, pokers, and tips of making money online. You can surely learn a lot on that site. especially those young programmer who wants to improve on their fields.
tech tips & tricks

Friday, November 28, 2008


I'm not talking about the time before sunrise and the time after sunset. Twilight is a young adult vampire-romance novel written by Stephenie Meyer that became a movie that premiered last wednesday here in our country. me and my friends got to watched it last night for two times. Hell! i can't help but shudder every romantic scene and few lines of Bella and Edaward.
" I feel so protective to you"
" I don't have a strength to stay away from you"
" I'd rather die than to stay away from you"
"Edward Cullen: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
Isabella Swan: What a stupid lamb.
Edward Cullen: What a sick, masochistic lion. "
"You are my life now"
" Your smell is like a drug to me. You're my personal brand of heroin."
those are the lines that stored in my head and i just can't get over it.. i actually regret of not buying the Twilight book in national bookstore last September because i was so preoccupied and busy looking for The Love in time of Cholera yet until now i haven't start reading it.. funny thing was i did cry last night because of the regret that i feel. Though my hubby promised me that he'll help me look for the complete sequel of Stephenie Meyer's novel, i still can't wait to have one.. i'm so frustrated right now.. hay!!! :(
anyways, too much of my frustrations.


Christmas is just around the corner and some of us here are just thinking about what to buy for their love once, you even ask any gift ideas. The ideal gift for me this christmas is the video portalbe ipod nano. it is the hottest brand of portable media player in town. With a clear sound and adjustable equalizer, you can adjust your favorite sound effect. Playing almost all format of sound, music lovers should have this gadget in their hand. Additional menus such as calender to adjust your appointment, contact to save your friend's number and pictures to keep your favorite photos, keep your day as bright as morning time. Not to mention simple games to keep you busy while waiting. For a music player, it has almost everything I ever think of. More menus for radio and sound recorder will make it a must have item. even the touchless ipod Touch is cool too. g. The size is not too big and it also has many features, such as repeat mode, shuffle mode, alarm, address book, and slide show. It is perfect for anyone who like jogging and sports. The sound quality are great, easy to use, and also good portability. It also able to download musics from online stores. The battery life is also great. I can connect this ipod to PC through USB cable. The price is a little expensive. you can compare the price here in Price comparison so that you will know the cheapest prices of ipods now.

i have been craving for one of those gadget since it was launched but i can't buy one because i need to save my penny for my schools and other stufffs. hope i am able to help you...
Advance Merry Christmas to all and God bless!


Sunday, November 23, 2008


alejate is a song a spanish song by Josh Groban. It means Walk away in english. Hell! it's very sad song. i can't help my tears to fall when i first heard this song few months ago.

here's the English translation of Alejate


I never felt so much love in my soul

And no one loved me more than you did

Because of you I laughed and cried

I was reborn also

All I had, I gave to keep you here

I know that saying goodbye is best

Suffering, I will pay for my mistake

And nothing will be the same

I have to accept it

And find the strength in me for this goodbye

Just walk away

I cannot bear it anymore

There’s no way to go back in time

Forget it and let me go on alone with my solitude

Go away, tell me goodbye

I will resign myself to go on without your warmth

And I will never understand what happened

If there’s nothing I can do

Just walk away

I’m not going to repent for yesterday

Loving you and I know, woman

For that love

For always being faithful

Today I have to be strong and learn

i'm starting to cry again :((

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Technology me

What's the latest trend today??Do you have a hard time looking for a brand new gadgets that suit you?want to keep updated to our latest technology today? Take a look at this site Technology with me .

Hotel California

I'm hell bored again, i'm just reading this blog " The lost pages, Adult content, funny" while vending in ragnarok (the most boring part in playing that game) i decided to post another entry here in my boring page.

I saw this post when i was browsing my net... i remember the song my uncle used to sing every time we had our family gather every Christmas or any simple occasion. maybe, some of us are so familiar of the song Hotel California by the Eagle that was released as a single in 1977.

Welcome to the Hotel California.
Such a lovely place. Such a lovely face.
There’s plenty of room at the Hotel California.
Any time of year, You can find it here.

well, it so happen that i saw the real hotel California. isn't it nice? ha ha ha

The lost pages, Adult content, funny

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

... is just around the corner

.it feels nice to know that somebody cares for you.
..someone who doesn't take you for granted.
..someone who doesn't just talk to you whenever he wants to.
..someone who makes you feel special. needs proper timing. ♥ were a little late though.. *hmmft!*
..a lot of things have happened to me..
..during those times when you were not around. *sniff*
..but I'm glad you were always there and will always be..
..if you're reading this I want to thank you and say sorry.'ve always been there all those years but I failed to look at you..'ve made me realize a lot of things.

..and to the person who made me feel stupid all along...

Hey! Thanks too! made me realize how worthy I am.. be loved and cared for by someone other than you. heart is not a play thing. *bleh* made me experience mixed emotions..
..confused, stupid, naive and crazy sometimes.
..hanging to something that was never there..
..anyway it was all just a BROTHERLY love. ♥
*uhh.. i just realized that! so you know..*
..goodbyes are not forever.. but they do hurt sometimes too.


I remember I have 2 conflicting quotes in my phone..
*I've been wanting to share em`*
Here they are..

"When you walk away,
make sure that you haven't left something you can't live without behind..
Remember.. nothing lasts forever..
No one will wait forever because someone may pick up what you've failed to value.."


"It's better to wait for years for that someone you are sure of..
than to grab that chance with someone who picks you up..
..but drops you wherever he/she wants to.."


Anyway.. which side are you on?
*Hey that's a question out of curiosity!*
Which is better? Hmmmm...

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

tarot card

i'm currenly having my tarot card session with my self. i really enjoy reading it...haha it's somehow true. i tried it once to my neighbor and when i started reading her deck she was amaze coz by what i read on her.. i'm not really that fun of fortune teller and don't have a plan of becoming one. as i've said on my previos blog. i just want to have a tarot card maybe as a collection and thanks to my hubby for giving me one...

here's a beginners guide for tarot card reading that i still practice

Tarot is a means of divination - that is, the art of 'reading' the future or uncovering the unknown. The tarot consists of a set of playing cards which are dealt into a particular layout according to what your question is. When dealing the cards you should focus on a particular problem you may be experiencing or think about an aspect of your life about which you'd like more clarity. Traditionally the tarot has been interpreted by a 'tarot-reader' - either professional or amateur. More recently, however, computers have been used more often to give readings online or on CD Roms etc.

There is much mystery surrounding the history of the tarot and myths about its origins abound. Some cynics say that this mystery has been perpetuated as a marketing tool for tarot card salesmen! However, by just looking at the evidence available we can estimate that the earliest surviving full deck was painted in 1422 by Italian artist Bonifacio Bembo. This is known as the Visconti deck, named after the Duke of Milan, who commissioned them. Although accounts of Ancient Egyptian, Celtic, Indian and earlier Italian links have been suggested, there is no evidence to support claims of earlier decks than the Visconti. It is possible that these more exotic links were drawn as a result of the Moorish and other cultural influences on Italian society at the time.

The cards were originally used for a game called Tarocchi or 'Game of Triumphs' which was similar to Bridge. The game was played mainly by the Upper Classes and has continued in some circles (mainly in Italy and France) to be played to this day.

The tarot's use by the Upper Classes probably saved the game from being banned by the Church (though some accounts state that tarot was considered heretical and outlawed by the Church). Indeed in the latter half of the fifteenth century some church sermons labelled tarot as the work of the Devil. But in fact the Church concerned itself more with the use of ordinary playing cards, which were considered gambling. Some cards from the tarot deck - such as the Devil, the Tower and the Death card - were on occasions omitted from the pack, as they were feared by many people, but little harm was actually done to the use of the cards until centuries later.

The tarot has undergone many permutations in its use, design and interpretation over the centuries. There is early evidence, for instance, to suggest that one of the first permutations was in using the cards as inspiration for poetry - possibly the first use in describing aspects of the human psyche and personality traits. The cards have since evolved according to the prevailing culture of the times and attitudes within them.

The first evidence of tarot being used as a divinatory tool came in the early eighteenth century in Bologna. In 1781 a clergyman, Antoine Court de Gebelin, revitalised and raised awareness of the tarot in his book, which drew links between the imagery in the Major Arcana and the mysteries of Ancient Egypt. This was later picked up by occult practitioners (occult means "hidden") such as Alistair Crowley and Waite of the Rider-Waite deck. The imagery on this deck is the one with which we are most familiar today as this was the deck introduced into America in the twentieth century and the only one readily available to generations of Americans. We therefore tend to associate the tarot with more esoteric connections, rather than the lighter use which defined its origins in fifteenth century Italy, over 500 years before.

There are 78 cards in a tarot deck. These cards are made up of a Major Arcana (Trumps) and Minor Arcana. Arcana means mystery, which reflects the secret wisdom contained in each card.

The Major Arcana
Major Arcana or 'Great Mysteries' consists of 22 cards and represents our journey through life.

The Minor Arcana (Lesser Mysteries)
consists of 56 cards and represents day-to-day living.
The Minor Arcana can be divided into four suits. These are Wands, Cups, Swords and Coins.

The Suits
The Wands represent doing
Key words: Action, change, beginning, resolution, fire element.

The Cups represent being
Key words: Feeling, emotions, spiritual, love, water element.

The Swords represent thinking
Key words: Ideas, understanding, reason, conflict, air element.

The Coins represent having
Key words: Money, property, abundance, earth element.

Each suit consists of numbered cards from Ace to Ten
plus four Court Cards - the Page, Knight, Queen and King.

Court cards
The Court Cards traditionally represent a person in your life or an aspect of yourself. For instance, turning up the Knight of Wands suggests you or someone in your life may be acting irresponsibly and therefore behaving like this Knight. This site has been written so that all the interpretations can be found in the text. You do not need to do any extra work in adding the Court Card interpretations into your readings.

Card numbering
These definitions are not intended to give comprehensive definitions (nor do they fit each card precisely). Rather, they provide general patterns and a rough path through the suits:

Ace: Represents the essence of its suit
Two: First steps into the area of the suit
Three: Further steps
Four: Inner blocks to be overcome along the way
Five: Hardship, strife, struggle, conflict
Six: Journeys and learning new lessons
Seven: Learning further, more challenging lessons in order to break into the new
Eight: Having to persist through difficulties
Nine: Final lessons
Ten: The end result of learning all the lessons of the suit
Page: The apprentice who learns and plays with the essence of the suit
Knight: The rebellious or 'darker' side to the suit
Queen: The feminine manifestation of the suit - its 'inner aspect'
King: The masculine manifestation of the suit - its 'outer,' worldly aspect.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Nights in Rodanthe

Movies like Nights in Rodanthe are beyond reviewing, because intellectually analyzing them cancels out their intended effect. This is a weepie, pure and simple. If you're the type that likes crying at the movies, you'll love it. If you loved Richard Gere and Diane Lane together in a thriller like Unfaithful (2002) but you don't like to cry, you probably won't like it. Me, I found a few things to like and much to loathe.

Diane Lane stars in Nights in Rodanthe as Adrienne Willis, a frazzled single mother with a young son and a teenage daughter; the latter has just begun talking back and expressing her universal disdain for everything her mother does. Adrienne's no-good husband (Christopher Meloni), who, we learn, has had an affair, arrives to pick up the kids so that Adrienne can go help her happy-go-lucky pal Jean (Viola Davis, playing a typical movie "best friend") look after a sexy, beach-side North Carolina hotel during its off-season. Unfortunately, the husband now wants to get back together.

Confused Adrienne arrives at the hotel, which is decorated head-to-foot in all kinds of colored, tinkly bric-a-brac and prepares for its one and only guest. Dr. Paul Flanner (Richard Gere) is a doctor struggling with a dark secret, and who has arrived for an equally mysterious errand. The attractive duo eventually warm up to one another and talk, but their dark secrets get in the way. Meanwhile, a huge storm threatens to blow away everything that isn't nailed down. I guess it's not too hard to guess what happens next. (Trivia hounds: this is Gere and Lane's third movie together. Besides Unfaithful, they were in Francis Ford Coppola's The Cotton Club together way back in 1984.)

Perhaps the most interesting thing about the new movie is how rare this genre is these days. Lately, weepies come attached to some important message so that the picture can rise up to earn accolades and Oscar nominations; they're set during a war, or have something to do with disease (think Atonement or Love in the Time of Cholera). Nights in Rodanthe doesn't require any such pretense. It's about a man and a woman who fall in love, and because we're talking Nicholas Sparks, we're talking tragic results rather than happy ones. And that's it.

Because Nights in Rodanthe is such a pure weepie, it made me recall an influential study done by film scholar Linda Williams, who helped define the "body genres." She named porno, horror films and weepies as the three main genres that elicit physical reactions from audiences. I never agreed with her on the weepie categorization until now. This is exactly the type of movie she was talking about. Like a porno film or a horror film, it has one goal and only one goal. If it affects you intellectually, then it has failed. If it doesn't jerk your tears, then it has failed.

Diane Lane goes a long way toward making the film work. She's perfectly at home inside this material (as she usually is in any material, bless her), and her emotional openness and ease carry us through some of the clunkier passages. However, rookie director George C. Wolfe, who comes from television, fails to direct Gere with the same touch; Gere seems to overshoot his lines, always aiming too high, as if unsure of his character's responses. This split continues across the film; the music selection is good (Dinah Washington!) and the set design seems right, but the tone, the editing and the pacing fall far short of their potential. One scene at a town fish-fry earned unintentional laughs from the audience at my screening.

Then there's the story by Nicholas Sparks, which is what it is. It's pure hokum, totally ridiculous, but the trick is to treat it as if it weren't. And because Wolfe fails half the time, the story begins to show through, more and more frequently calling attention to itself. The greatest weepies ever made are the ones by Douglas Sirk in the 1950s (Written on the Wind, All That Heaven Allows, etc.). Sirk was an artist, and he could shape and design an absolutely brilliant scene around the most hysterical plot; his films almost play more like films noir than weepies. I don't feel ashamed watching them. But perhaps that's the key. As with horror films and porno films, much of the joy of weepies comes from the stupid, guilty pleasure we feel at having been so crassly manipulated.

Which leads me to the major problem of Nights in Rodanthe: the fact that Gere is in his fifties and Lane is in her forties. It's much harder to fool audiences in that age group; they've seen more movies and know more tricks. Younger audiences have greedily indulged in the previous two Sparks films The Notebook (2004) and A Walk to Remember (2002), mainly because they were based on characters in their teens and twenties and the stories probably seemed new. The first Sparks film, Message in a Bottle (1999), was also based on the older generation, and it failed. Nights in Rodanthe exists in a similar void. Younger viewers are not going to want to see an icky romance about (eww!) people their parents' age, while older viewers are going to want to stay home and rent Atonement.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

hate hate

Have you ever felt like you woke up at the wrong side of the bed? Have you ever felt like you’re not in the mood to talk to or get acquainted with the new people inside your workplace? Have you ever thought of screaming so loud to release your anger or pull a chair and slam it on the face of your stupid colleague? Well, I do…for no reasons at all.

I hate this feeling. I hate everything about today. I hate the murmuring. I hate the petty noises. I dunno how to explain. I’m not here to be the best friend of everybody. I am here to work. Plain and simple. Nobody should mess with me…but nobody is doing anything to me.

I don’t wanna talk. I don’t wanna converse with anybody. And I don’t need to explain. Love me or hate me. This is me. This might sound rude to some people but I love this…the serenity of working in your own post WITHOUT NOBODY to talk to and fake a smile.

Without nobody..double negative.Darn. Don’t even think of correcting me because I’m in no mood to follow any rules today..not even the grammar thingies.

Writing has always been my refuge. It’s a relief for me to vent out my feelings without anyone judging me. And there. Now I’m kinda okay. Kinda. I can now proceed to my work but still, don’t wanna be bothered by nobody.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

my very first award

Everyday, it is my hobby to turn on my PC and check my mails and sometimes read my blogs. just like my daily routine, as i checked my blog someone leave me a comment saying i receive a butterfly award. I am really thankful to Jody from for giving me my very first award. Now, it's my turn to give award to some people deserve some recognition on there blogs.

After cancer, now what
Woman on a journey
Buzzed the net
Blog of masterful entertainment
To infinity and beyod
••• atenean101
The leaves of autumn| Everyday living

Rules if you choose to participate

1. Put the logo on your blog
2. Add a link to the person who awarded it to you
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs
4. Add links to these blogs on your blog
5. Leave a message for your nominee on their blog


Zenni Optical

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I myself had symptoms of astigmatism since high school but i ignore it because i felt like every time i wore glasses people will mistakenly think that i am a genius. but when i found out about the Zenni Optical $8 Rx Eyeglasses, I could really find fashionble eyeglasses that could really ensemble my taste. here is my favorite one :

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

happy 2nd monthsary

me and my boyfriend are celebrating our second month together and it was my turn to treat him out. so, i bring him in Garden Fresco since he haven't heard of that place before. the place is nice and cozy. It suits for couple who wants privacy. Candle light dinner at the side of the pond is so romantic and i love it. i will never ever forget this night. i'll share some pictures here if i'm done uploading my photos. One of the thing that made me so happy today is his gift. he gave me a tarot card. I've been a sucker of tarot card and reading, psychic, witches, etc etc since i can't hardly remember. i was in college when i thought my interest on that stuff was gone. Late this september when my obsession about tarot cards arouse me and i'm back looking for tarot cards again. Thanks to my boy friend coz he gave me a tarot card consist of tarot card and the book to guide me in using it. aside from that, he also gave me a book entitled Nights in Rodanthe. It's a novel written by Nicholas Sparks that became a movie that will be shown soon. too much gift. Unfortunately i had no gift fror him since i was planning to buy a figurine and i will be the one to paint it. since there's no cute design, i decided to look for some cute design tomorrow since the sales lady told me that there will be stucks will delivered tomorrow.

TIll here guys

Ja Ne~

Friday, October 31, 2008

Mamma Mia!

whoah! i just finished watching the movie mamma mia.. unfortunately i just watched it in the moviesisters since i didn't get a chance to watched it in theater. the story is all about the girl named sophie who accidentally read her mother's diary and finds out that she has 3 potential father. in her wedding she invited the 3 men hoping to find out his real dad. She hides them from her mother and makes them promise not to reveal she invited them to the wedding.
Meanwhile while her mother named donna making repairs on their hotel, she accidentally discover the 3 men and panics. She asked the 3 men to leave the island. When sophie finds out that the 3 men was about to leave she forced them to stay for the wedding and listen to their memories of her mother. During the night at the party. each men talked to sophie and concluded that they could be her father and that they will give her away at the wedding. The following day her mother and Sam (one of the 3 potential father) talked but increasingly frustrated with each other. She confesssed to her future husband what she has done, and he becomes unsure about their coming wedding, feeling sidelined by her ‘fathers’. A distressed Sophie asks her mother if she will help her dress for the wedding (instead of her bridesmaids) and her mom agrees, thrilled. Donna reminisces about precious times to get her now grown-up daughter. En route, her mother rebuffs sam as she is still deeply hurt that he left her and offers him to sing with her because he was engaged to another woman. She then runs away to her daughter’s wedding on the hilltop. During the ceremony her mom reveals that her fathers although she doesn't know who is present and realized that sophie invited them. The three men declare they are all thrilled to be Sophie’s potential father, and will gladly be ‘a third of a father each’. Sophie cancels the wedding, to Sky’s delight, so that they can go traveling together instead, as they still feel too young to settle down. Making the most of the surroundings, Sam declares he is still in love with Donna, and proposes, explaining that after leaving her 20 years ago, he went to England to break off his engagement, but returned to Kalokairi to be told she was away dating another man. He went home and got married anyway, but he is now divorced. Donna eventually says yes after learning the truth.

so that is it.. my short summary of the movie.. i'm not really that good narrator but i'm hoping that you get the story. The movie is musical, you can see all the characters are singing and dancing. actually almost all the songs that were played in the movie was songs of abba ...

Sunday, October 26, 2008

i learn to understand myself

I woke up at such an unearthly hour, not understanding why I woke up so. But I guess there is too much in my life for me to be sleeping in any peace at all. But nevertheless, an offer to have a personal blog came in now. then i realized it feels good to really have a blog so i can write everything that running wild on my mind.

For today I remind myself to stop showing off what I have. I hate shown offs. But helplessly I tell people what I have done, bought and achieve. Why don’t I keep my mouth shut about somethings which just bore people, because it can only arouse me but no one else.

But I can’t help it, and I reflect upon my own actions daily. Then it struck me…Its because I have what I have today mainly as I stand on my own feet and rely on no one else. I have it despite being burden with my responsibilities in my life. But I am glad I have not stepped on anyone’s toes yet with my irritating self told stories. I hate myself when I do it, but it gives me closure to tell people that something good has happen to me in my wretched life. Please forgive me for giving myself this little relief. It keeps me sane from time to time.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Out of reach

i'm currently listening to Gabrielle's out of reach. it's one of my favorite old song that i keep on singing. i used to sing it for myself since i can relate to it. but that was before. i just want to share it with you...

Out Of Reach

Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK.

But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

♥ chorus ♥

So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you

But now I'm
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

♥ chorus ♥

Out of reach,
so far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there
For me

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

adult-onset asthma

When asthma first develop after age of 20, women are much likely to be affected then men are. In fact, 75 % of adult hospitalized for asthma treatment are women; women also remain hospitalized for asthma than do men of the same age group.
The fact women are prone to asthma suggests that female sex hormone play a role. Data from Harvard's ongoing Nurses Health Study, which has followed 121,700 female registered nurses since 1976, found that postmenopausal women who took estrogen as hormone replacement for 10 years or longer were 50 percent more likely develop asthma than were women who never used estrogen.
New research also shown that women with asthma are more likely to have a severe asthma attack immediately before or during their menstruation period. A study at Medical College of Pennsylvania found that twice as many women sought emergency asthma treatment during onset of their period or the first day of their menstruation, compared with the middle of their menstrual cycle. The fewer number of women sought treatment toward the end of their period. Some researcher believe that adult-onset attack are associated with the sharp drop in level of estradiol, a type of estrogen that occurs in the days before menstruation. another possible explanation is the biological stress associated with premenstrual syndrome
Although less common than asthma on children, Adult-onset asthma also can be triggered by allergies. between 30 and 50 percent of all adults with asthma have some allergies, but often allergic exposures don't seem to be most important driving factor.This non-allergic adult-onset is sometimes called "intrinsic". In men occupational exposure to chemical and organic dust is responsible for estimated 15 percent of asthma cases. Unfortunately,these cases may be misdiagnosed as chronic bronchitis or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease is not treated properly.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Kaba modern

a friend of mine send me a link of a video from youtube while chatting to him a while ago. the name of the video was so familiar to me since i heard it somewhere. i think it's the same person who send me the link was the person who told me about them. i'm talking about KABA MODERN here. it's a street dance group established in 1992 by a group of "kababayan" which means countrymen in tagalog. they started at University of California in Irvine, originally to perform at their Philippine Culture night. from there, they started joining contest. So far they are starting to make some noise in hip hop and dancing world. wish them all the best coz i love their group, i love their choreography and i like their style not because i'm also a kababayan but as a dancer. I'm hell proud of you kababayan~

you rocks!!

Ja Ne~

Thursday, October 16, 2008


I feel like I’m sometimes just thrown into a tornado of things. You’ll never know what you’ll bump into in that chaotic whirl.


Today, was a day full of it. Not necessarily a pleasantly surprising one although I did find a thing or two to smile about.

Sometimes, you just get this gut feel about certain things, certain people, certain events. It’s the kind of feeling that you can’t simply ignore because it kind of nags you. It’s the feeling that something is out of place, or doesn’t seem right. I’ve have a lot of those and I’ve learned to heed that gut feeling, intuition, I have. And I think it helps you deal when some things just don’t turn out the way you idealized them to be. I don’t really want to be concrete about it all, it’s just too complicated, messy, even.

What I’m trying to say is, I used to think things didn’t turn out right because of my actions, because of me, but as I’ve learned, I can’t control everthing and everyone and there’s always the probability of change. The capacity and capability of time, of choice, or circumstance, to completely take you aback. And it isn’t your fault. And maybe we have all these defense mechanisms lined up to be our fallback in the event of the unpredictable. We were designed to be sure of uncertainty.

Life just has this damn habit of throwing things at you sometimes bonking you on the head. A wake up call, perhaps?

I enjoy how things no matter how unpredictable still turn out quite favorable in the end. Things just sometimes balance themselves out.It can be thrilling, actually.

Just learn to pick yourself up when you stumble along the way.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Make it Happen

at last! for almost 1 week of craving to watched this movie we decided to watched it last Wednesday since it's the last day that the movie will be seen in theater. The Film is average watchable dance drama . The story started when Mary Elizabeth Winstead who played as Lauryn dreams of attending a prestigious school in Chicago. Unfortunately when she arrive in Chicago she failed the audition because of her hoodie-clad dance routine. luckily she met Dana played by Tessa Thompson who gets her a book keeping job in Ruby's.

as my review the movie is great. i mean it's not boring maybe because i love dancing or what. i really love the movie. the story is not that cheezy. it didn't focused more on the love story but the story of the girl and her dreams. i like the love story as well coz it feels like they were teenagers. ha ha ha. plus the guy is so cute. i like it every time she porform coz he choreograph is so nice.
we actually watched it for 2 times..

Monday, October 13, 2008

Business Loan

are you a business man who are planning to expand your business or are you one of those people who a re planning to put up some business yet your money isn't enough for you to put up a business that you want. Business Loan is the answer to your problem. is one of the best site that offers small Busines Loan for a business man like you. It is easy process , fast funding and they have Excellent service.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Debt Consolidation

What is debt consolidation?

I’ve been asking that to myself for a couple of times but thanks to the internet and news paper because they let me understand more the meaning of it. Debt consolidation does not mean the taking on of a new loan – it means organizing the debts into a manageable entity. The first thing the debt consolidation agency will do is to contact the lender and find out ways for negotiating the loan by arranging for a new affordable agreement.

Debt consolidation can put a brake to foreclosures if the right action is taken at the right moment and decision is not kept being postponed waiting for some magic to work. Foreclosures can be defeated – if the borrowers so chooses. Having a foreclosure against your home is one of the most serious financial actions that can be taken, and certainly is among the most devastating for individuals. In a foreclosure, a person’s home is repossessed or sold because the homeowner has not satisfied due payments to the lender. A person facing foreclosure inherently is facing many obstacles after the fact, as well. Most notably, the person will be without a home, will have a heavily damaged credit report , and may very well still be having trouble with debts owed.

For preventing foreclosure to happen better consolidate your debt before it’s too late because we can’t foresee the future. Debt Consolidation is not that negative as what other people may think. It’s not really that bad after all. As what I have said before it can really help you a lot. It is the easiest way to find low cost solution to eliminate your unsecured debt. Through searching the internet you can find one of the best agencies who are willing to help you consolidate your debt, that can give you free credit report and that could work out a viable affordable formula for both sides to be happy

Friday, October 10, 2008

Problems of teenagers

Teenagers are far more prone to problems than anyone else. There are many reasons as to why teenagers experience dozens of problems. I think the reason behind this is change. Teenagers are at the point of their lives wherein they say goodbye to their childhood and enter the stage of adulthood. It is at this point of their lives that they develop physically, mentally and emotionally. That is why teenagers often find themselves having a hard time with everything because they are still at the developmental stage of their lives.

It is only normal for teenagers to encounter many problems. The only wrong thing that teenagers do is to resort to immoral acts like smoking cigarettes, using drugs and engaging in pre-marital sex as solutions for their problems. I don’t really think that teenagers should indulge themselves in these things. There are many other better ways as to how they can solve their problems.

Take my cousin, for example. My cousin grew up with a broken family. His mother left him at an early age, his father was a lazy drunkard and his older siblings were rebels who ran away from them. My cousin wasn’t able to go to school because his father, the only person he was left with, wasted all their money on gambling and drinking. Despite the hard situation that my cousin was experiencing, he still had a positive outlook in life. He believed that he should work as hard as he could so that all his work would pay off in the end. Time came that his uncle adopted him and took him away from his father. They raised him and sent him to school and now he’s having a successful life.

All of these happened without him engaging in immoral acts. That is why I believe that teenagers shouldn’t resort to any dangerous activities when they’re experiencing problems. They just need to understand that life is like working with math: there’s always a solution to every problem. We just need to use the proper means as to get those solutions.

Monday, October 06, 2008

“The People I’ve Come to Love and Hate” (Classification - The Kinds of Friends)

In life, there are many different kinds of people. After all, what’s life without variety? Of course, the people who you call friends also fall into different categories. There are some kinds friends who I like being around with, some who I hate, and some who I don’t give a thing or two about.

First of all, there are those friends who I call the ‘leechers’. They’re the friends who call you their friends whenever they want something from you for their personal gain. These things include your money for buying food and stuff for themselves, your homework for whenever they need ‘help’, or even your presence for when they want someone to take the blame and you end up being the scapegoat. I hate leechers… They’re the lowest kind of friends for me.

Next comes the ‘generics’. These are the common friends that I don’t consider anything special. They don’t do stuff that I like. Nor do they even do stuff that annoy me. They’re just there because… they’re there. I probably consider them friends for the sake of having friends. These friends are the middle-tier friends for me.

And last, but not least, are the ‘buddies’. You always save the best for the last. They’re the friends who I love being around with. They understand you more than anyone else. They know what makes you laugh so they crack funny and inappropriate jokes. They know what makes you angry so they’ll use that to their advantage. They are the highest form of a friend for me.

And that is how I categorize my friends. Now which category do you fall in? Are you even someone I can call a friend???

Sunday, October 05, 2008

rAndoM thOughtS fRom nOwhEre..

you are the cure to my diSeasE,

you are the beta-blocker for my anginA..

you are the ativan for my hallucinations..

the nitrous oxide when i'm sad..

you are the xylocaine for my cardiac arrhythmia's,

the mannitol for my pressures,

the multi-vitamins for my stresses..

and the bronchodilator when i can’t


you're the cefuroxime for my wounds..

the sutures for my incisions,

the lactated ringer's for my bleeding..

the vicodin for my pain..

you are like a D50 water, that's so sweet to me

my flouxetine HCl when im depressed..

and the captopril for my aching heart..

you are the bismuth subgallate whenever i have

butterflies in my tummy..

my phenobarbital when i can't sleep..

the almotriptan that soothes my headache

and a lidocaine that numbs my pain..

above all..

you are the latEx that protects me..

a diclofenac that will never let me fall ..Ü

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Insurance Portal

As I contemplate the events of my life, where I've been and where I am going, one nagging thought continues to present itself over and over again. Insurance. Whether it's medical, renters, homeowners, automobile or life insurance; everyone needs to find the best plan to cover them within their budget.

We all know that we need life insurance. It’s not that I’m talking about dying anytime soon but what I’m just saying is we do not know what will happen in the future. Well, it's true, everyone is going to die. You know the saying - the only two sure things in life are death and taxes. We worry a lot about the latter and try not to think about the former any more than we have to. That would be fine if we could get out of it by not planning for it, but unfortunately all that will happen is that we will adversely affect the lives of our families and loved ones if we haven't planned well.

Buying life insurance seems like one of those investments that you never collect on, but the peace of mind for the ones who will leave behind is something you can't put a price on. if you're looking for insurance with some flexibility to it, all you have to do is go online and browse your net. Familiarize yourself with the pros and cons of insurance policies and choose the one that best fits your situation and your needs.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Cash Advance

A lot of people these days don’t really wait until pay day. There are certain times when you are in need of money and yet waiting for the next pay day is just impractical especially if you don’t know anybody whom you can always rely on borrowing such amount is needed. If you’re experiencing this problem Cash advance is the solution.
Cash advance are emergency loan for small amount of money. These emergency loans are normally sanctioned for less than a month. You have to repay the loan on your next salary day. So it is also called Payday loans.
instant cash loan is one the easiest and easiest way to get money for your daily needs. There are a lot of institutions offering cash advances. at you will never have to wait days or weeks before you get your money. So it is important to compare the best offers available to make things easy. There are sites offer just that. They will give you all information and guidance about the loans. You can compare different offers from various financial institutions and you can select the best one that suits you. By doing so online with the fast and efficient service, you will never go wrong with your loan.

Credit card review

Having credit cards are quite tempting to spend all your credit that you don’t even notice that the expenses you’ve made were beyond your affordable budget. Everything will look so provoking that you could have a non-stop swipe with your credit card. With the way you treat yourself like this; it’s uncontrollable, that you don’t even notice that you have attained the limits of your account. It’s quite terrible if you spend your credit card without any control. You should know how to spend it wisely, from most important expenses to the least expenses accordingly.

0 apr credit card concentrates on notifying clients as regards with credit card offers, how to utilize your credit shrewdly, and sporadically posts witty insights into the madcap world of credit. The site provides all the reliable sources or information that could help their clients by giving some tips on how to spend their credit wisely as possible as they could. Though there are a lot of advantages of having a credit card such as credit cards permits people to make large purchases and also it will serve as a big help for emergencies like hospital bills or medical bills caused by accidents. But despite all this, we do have to control our expenses and therefore we need some tips on how to control and spend our credits wisely in