Tuesday, December 09, 2008

I choose to jump off the cliff

I am walking over the hills on bright mid day, it feels humid but it actually is raining. Seeing everything that is none existing. Hallucinating. I’m breathing in difficulty for my air is really wanting but the feeling of catching up my breath is bliss. An emotion of which I have never thought is real. Trailing along black and white colored bushes with pink and blue colored birds, I pause. Hearing the birds sing their lullaby, looking at the bushes wave as seemingly fresh wind blows them in to proportion. Despite the dyspneic episodes, I still choose to pause. Though I know I should not to but to not hear them, nor to not see them, I know is a big loss. So there I am, using the fullest minute of my life. I guess? Watching them wave, hearing them sing. Endorphins flood in to my brain. Bliss. Nothing but sheer bliss. I am grateful. I am blessed. However, I know I also have to move forth. Seeing the horizon little by little. Yet the way there is difficult. The soil is mixed up of brittle sand and gloomy clay. A step up, is a big step of life. A step down, is a big step of life. Knowing when to step hard and when to step harder is a challenge. As it is a locomotive twisted claim. However, I am near there. The cliff’s edge. I am coming nearer. I now can smell the potassium at 49% and oxygen at 51. The horizon is bloody yet the water is clear. Seeing creatures vividly. Seeing flora amusingly. A shark invites me to plunge in. Yet I see, pointed rocks of steel everywhere. However, there’s a pretty cool 8 meter spot where pillows with crazy spongebob comforters float. But the sharks invitation to jump off is tempting, uncontrollably weakening my soul and sturdy thought. Crazy as I am. To think hard is never an option. Yet to think smart is. So there I am jumping off the cliff. Very glad for I am weightless.

As I am jumping off, people ideate, speaks blatantly, believing that I am foolish. Yet I know that to loose confinement to my so called “world” is one way of experiencing my existence. To dare take the risk of landing on pillows is never sure but it tests my worth as a person. My human value.

As of now I still do not know whether I am going to land safe. But one thing I am sure of, as I have chosen to jump off the cliff, I have lost my clutches from this world, as I believe that normative peace down there the sea awaits me.

No comments: