Sunday, July 27, 2008

if i had one day left

Some people are afraid to die or afraid of death, me on the other hand I’m not. I don't fear dying because I know that my "legacy" around my friends and family will hopefully live on forever. I'm afraid of death when it comes to loosing someone close to me because it causes heartache. I have been thinking lately and I have come to realize that if I was aware that I only had one chance to live, I would say my good-byes to my friends, and family. I would eat anything I wanted. I would also go visit my grand ma and tell her my pains and fears and my grand parents grave and tell them that I'll be seeing them soon. I want to do those things I wrote on my bucket list. I would tell everyone not to be sad because I wouldn't have to deal with burdens of the world, global warming, and violence, and everything else we all have to deal with. And with one final good-bye I would go to sleep and wake up in a better place, a place where all the problems vanish and I'm happy. I would cry at the sight of seeing my family cry because I know them they would but I wouldn't be deeply sad because I would know that it was my time, I served my purpose and now it was time for me to be at peace, so I'm not afraid of dying I'm just afraid o loosing people close to me, even if I know they're happy for eternity. It’s kind of weird, writing this post. Well, I’m thinking weirdo lately… THINKING ABOUT DEATH.. As what I have said before I have no intention of dying anytime soon. I’m just open to what will possibly happen. I still want to know the purpose of my life coz I still don’t know where I’m heading…. So weird of me! Hahaha…

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

insightful anemia

I cannot sleep, yet I am so exhausted. My body is a strange machine, I tell you.
Anyway, in my sleepless thoughts, I find myself pondering on the theory of love, and being in love.

More specifically, how one knows they are "in love."
Before my experiences of love and things alike, I had always wondered: "Well, how can a person know if they are in love? When do you know? What if you never fall in love, or you never realize it?" etc.
And still I sometimes ask myself, "How would I describe my experiences?"
And in all honesty, I'm not really sure how to explain the feeling of being in love. I want to say it is like beating the five o'clock traffic by two minutes. Or maybe feeling the first raindrops of the Fall. Or stepping on those extra crunchy leaves that are littered all over sidewalks. Or finishing a test before everyone in the class, and feeling confident about it. Or riding in the back of a truck, feeling the wind whip through your hair. Or jumping into the water, letting the cold sting and then numb you from the inside, out. Or drinking hot cocoa with extra marshmallows on the first snow of Winter.Or none of those don't make any sense to you.Either way, I love this feeling of being in love and I wish that everyone can experience this at some point or another.



Sunday, July 20, 2008

Short Love Story

just want to share this short tragic love story that I saw in the internet… actually, Vea send this to me few years ago…

I'm just too shy........

10th grade-As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade-The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of

chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year-The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day-A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "You’re my best friend, thanks" and gave me kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!” She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral-Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend”. At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read:” I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! I wish I did too...I thought to my self, and I cried. I Love you, I love you and I





daily Boredom

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
why then, oh why can't I?
Some day I'll wish upon a star
and wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me



Why is it that I cannot seem to grasp the meaning of certain things? It seems to me that my mind has been transformed into a rigid processor enable of manipulating ideas in a flexible manner. Maybe I'm just out of practice, but that isn't a valid excuse. I'll simply have to push myself mentally until I can start thinking outside of the box again. Many people see me and say I'm too hard on myself. However, my standards are set where they are because I know I can achieve them. A lower standard only hinders and limit one's motivation to reach for something higher within their grasp. One might have to tip toe in order to slightly brush that goal, but that gives more satisfaction than clutching an easily achieved goal, at least in my case. (Sigh) okay, need to sleep.. ahaha

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Chenee's Bucket List

I was checking out one of my friends Blog and read some of his post. He posted his own Bucket List (like from the movie “THE BUCKET LIST”). For those who are completely oblivious to what I’m talking about, it’s basically a list of things I want to do before I “kick the bucket”. Mind you, I have no intention of dying anytime soon and this list will probably change as I hopefully grow more mature. As for now, I give you my rendition of the bucket list.

1. Live a life without regrets

2. Take up Culinary Art

3. finish my studies

4. Learn how to speak French, Japanese, Korean and Dutch

5. Go on a cruise

6. Put up a bakeshop

7. Have a dinner with Orlando Bloom…hahahahahahahaha

8. Go skydiving

9. Donate a blood

10. Change someone’s life for the better – trying to be noble

11. Be independent

12. Visit the following places

Europe

Manchu Picchu in Peru

Great Buckingham Palace in London

Great Pyramids in Egypt

Eiffel Tower in Paris

The Roman Colosseum in Italy

Parthenon in Greece

Great Wall of China

Taj Mahal in India

Chechen Itza in Mexico

The Acropolis in Greece Athens

The Kremlin and St. Basil's, Moscow, Russia

Neuschwanstein Castle in Germany

Petra in Jordan

Sydney Opera house in Australia

Stonehenge, Amesbury, United Kingdom

--- More historical places ---


13. Learn how to swim

14. Go bungee jumping

15. Repay my family for their support

16. Learn how to drive a car

17. Spend a ridiculous amount of money traveling to a city *just* for the food. Hahaha

18. Asked forgiveness and be forgiven

19. Figure out exactly who I am

20. Overcome my weaknesses as well as my fears


Because I'm a girl

I watched this movie during the time when I had my heart broken.. it was kim who send me the link and believe me; I had a hard time stopping my tears to fall… hahhahaha. Till now it has the same effect on me…
*teary eye*




Because I'm a girl

English lyric version

I just can't understand the ways
Of all the men and their mistakes.
You give them all your heart, and then they rip it all away...
You told me how much you loved me
And how our love was meant to be.
And i believed in you, i thought that you would set me free...

(chorus)
You should've just told me the truth
That i wasn't the girl for you...
Still i didn't have a clue
So my heart depended on you...
Whoah

Although i'll say 'i hate u' now
Although i'll shout and curse you out...
I'll always have love for you
Because i am a girl

(*)
Been told a man will leave you cold
Get sick of you and bored...
I know that it's no lie
I gave my all still i just cry
Never again will i be fooled, to give my all
When nothing's true...
I won't be played again, but i will fall in love again...

(chorus)
You should've just told me the truth
That i wasn't the girl for you...
Still i didn't have a clue
So my heart depended on you...
Whoah

Although i'll say 'i hate u' now
Although i'll shout and curse you out...
I'll always have love for you
Because i am a girl


I loved u so... now u leave me in the cold
How could this be, i thought that u'd only love me...
Into the night, i will pray that you're alright
You hurt me so
I can't let u go

(bridge)
You took advantage of my willingness to do anything for love
Now i'm the only one in pain... will you please take it all away
~ Oh~

(chorus)
Never thought born being a girl
How i can love you and be burned...
And now i will build a wall, to never get torn again

Although i'll say 'i hate u' now
Although i'll shout and curse you out...
I'll always have love for you
Because i am a girl

Although i'll say 'i hate u' now
Although i'll shout and curse you out...
I'll always have love for you
Because i am a girl


Actually it has 2 part … I’ll post it here soon… as of now enjoy the video and let your tears fall…. Hahahaha


Ja Ne~

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

HOMELAND BOUND

I accidentally saw my article about OFWs when I was cleaning my room yesterday. 2 years ago my teacher in Social Study asked us to write an article about Overseas Filipino Worker. I just want to share mine...


Overseas Filipino Workers or OFWs are people of Philippine origin who live and work abroad. They are also termed by Wikipedia as the Global Filipinos. More than that, the OFWs are our brothers and sisters. Who risk everything to help their families attain a much decent future. They are our modern day heroes. Our widespread knowledge of the English language, topped by the low performance of the economy of our country had pushed Filipinos to work abroad. Some have left their children in the care of immediate families to sustain their growing needs. Some have left their loved ones in the hope to find greener pasture to live in. Every year, our country is drained of its doctor, accountants, IT professionals, engineers, students, domestic helper, nurses and caregivers. This brain drain results not only to the diminishing of our professionals working in their fields, but also stunting the growth of our nation and crippling its future potential.

Yet, few of us often realize the sacrifices of our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers and relatives who are working abroad. Few of us realize the obstacles they face. OFWs are sometimes victims of illegal recruiters, mysterious death, racial profiling, and discrimination, kidnapping and abuse. They are sometimes wrongly accused, tried and executed without fair trials. Some rot in jail away from their families. Some are maltreated, raped and forced to do inhuman acts. Some also risk involvement in conflicts in their countries such as the case in Lebanon and other countries torn by conflict and wars. Although the government had now addressed these issues, there are still those that persist.

Few of us also gasp the feeling of loneliness each OFWs suffer as they celebrate holidays away from home. Few of us comprehend the hunger of OFWs for sense of familiar touch and familiar sound as each day passes them by. Yet, beyond these, Filipinos, as they had always had, make the most of every situation. For every sick, dying and aged individual that Filipino doctors and nurses served and cared abroad, it is as if the OFWs are serving their loved ones back at home. For every child those Filipino teachers taught abroad, OFWs feel that it is as if they had taught those children in the barrios, cities and remote area of our country and their own child. For every work done by Filipino workers, builders and professionals abroad, OFWs sense as if they are doing a patriotic duty in their country. For every sweat, tears and pain of OFWs come the hope and dreams of all Filipino young and old. Though they may be far away, their thoughts are always here with us. It may seem that OFWs come and go in our country, but with us. Part of them stays. It may seem they are miles away and surrounded by different languages but their hearts have never left their homeland.

---- i had a good grade for my finals because of this article. Ahahaha Thanks to my tita, because she was the one who helped me wrote this. since she can relate to it.. ehehe.. I so love her…

Ja Ne~




More Taco please

Ohohohoh ….TACO TACO TACO TACO!!! Craving for more TACOOOOOOOO!! Well, to those people who don’t have any idea what taco is. It is a traditional Mexican dish composed of rolled, folded, pliable maize or wheat tortilla, leafy vegetables, taco seasoning, and the fact that a taco can be filled with practically any meat, fish, shellfish, vegetable, and cheese allows for great versatility and variety. I can’t help myself to drool over this food… hahahahahah!

Long before, when I was in 1st yr college. My best friend and I used to go to mall and sometimes drop by at the Ground floor to buy taco. I always stare at her taco and think how awful it would be to taste it. Though I love eating veggies. It doesn’t look appetizing to me and I kept on wondering why she loves it. She wanted me to taste it but I was pretty reluctant to do it because I feel like I might lose my appetite. But last summer, a friend of mine really forced me to eat that food. There I found taco differently than before. So I did order. When it was done, I was amused how delicious it was. So from that time Taco is one of my favorite that I love to eat every time I will go to mall.

There was this time that I was really craving for taco so I decided to go to NCCC Mall since it is the nearest Mall from our house. And there was this one place in the mall and I ordered taco there. I was expecting that it would be delicious just like in Gaisano Mall since I thought they are the same branch. When it served to me I can really taste the flour in the tortilla and I really lost my appetite. Anyways, I think I’m sharing too much information about my taco bell.. ahaha..

Monday, July 14, 2008

People are sometimes "a pain in the as*"

I tried playing audition but I didn’t enjoy playing it. I’m done cleaning my room, my dog even got tired playing with me.ahahaha, I wanted to watch movie but my net is a bit slow today… I called up Karen if she can help me with my Dxdiag but unfortunately she was in a hurry because Daboy is waiting for her in Victoria Plaza and when I checked my friends list on my messenger everyone is too busy... It seems boredom doesn’t know how to give up. I’m so pissed with this boredom, with this terrain and those people (I Don’t want to mention names here). It just pisses me off when you try to work and there are this “annoying” people around. It just freaks the whole lot of me. They don’t even know where to put their selves in this world where no one would seem to care what they are about. Well, I’m just so pissed and over bored. I couldn’t take it anymore. At least this post works for me. So much things to think about makes me panic. lol. Add up those people who take your patience off.... there’s a lot to think about. HELL! I’m just super done with it

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Boredom

I had no idea what to write, but I wanted to post something. lol.. I think my brain isn’t functioning well. I’m so full because I ate a lot today ahaha, I’m bored because Karen is not online, Lester didn’t even reply, Kim is too busy with his call center career and Aundrey is already sleeping…Can anyone save me from this boredom? Hay… just shoot me please! Hahaha

Till here!!

JA NE or Dewa Mata (it means see you in Japanese)

Friday, July 11, 2008

The PLAYSTATION®3 system software update may include security patches, new or revised settings and features and other items, which will change your current operating system. We encourage you to check this page from time to time for software updates and to always maintain your system to use the latest version of the system software.

An update to the PS3™ system software was released on July 8, 2008. You can use this update to upgrade your system software to version 2.41.

This update corrects a problem that prevented a limited number of PS3™ systems from starting properly after updating to version 2.40.

For those users who have updated to version 2.40 and have experienced the problem where the XMB™(XrossMediaBar) screen does not appear, or no images are displayed on the screen, please contact Consumer Services at 1-800-345-7669.

We have confirmed that for those users who have successfully updated to version 2.40 and are able to start the PS3™ system, this problem will not occur on your PS3™ system.

We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you and appreciate your understanding and continued support.




Wednesday, July 09, 2008