Unpredictable

I feel like I’m sometimes just thrown into a tornado of things. You’ll never know what you’ll bump into in that chaotic whirl.

Unpredictability.

Today, was a day full of it. Not necessarily a pleasantly surprising one although I did find a thing or two to smile about.

Sometimes, you just get this gut feel about certain things, certain people, certain events. It’s the kind of feeling that you can’t simply ignore because it kind of nags you. It’s the feeling that something is out of place, or doesn’t seem right. I’ve have a lot of those and I’ve learned to heed that gut feeling, intuition, I have. And I think it helps you deal when some things just don’t turn out the way you idealized them to be. I don’t really want to be concrete about it all, it’s just too complicated, messy, even.

What I’m trying to say is, I used to think things didn’t turn out right because of my actions, because of me, but as I’ve learned, I can’t control everthing and everyone and there’s always the probability of change. The capacity and capability of time, of choice, or circumstance, to completely take you aback. And it isn’t your fault. And maybe we have all these defense mechanisms lined up to be our fallback in the event of the unpredictable. We were designed to be sure of uncertainty.

Life just has this damn habit of throwing things at you sometimes bonking you on the head. A wake up call, perhaps?

I enjoy how things no matter how unpredictable still turn out quite favorable in the end. Things just sometimes balance themselves out.It can be thrilling, actually.

Just learn to pick yourself up when you stumble along the way.