Monday, December 15, 2008

the epitomy of myself

It's 11:30 pm and i'm still here sitting in my room with my annoying brother. i have nothing much. Just simply hearing my thoughts from the day i try to avoid. My mind tries to swim back to the last 10 years where i am totally different from who i am right now. i mean lot of things life has taught me. People come and people go. I'm absorbing those valuable lessons and become someone much mature, sadly in bitter way.
Have you ever think that all people in your life will never, ever stay forever? They will leave you as soon as they had done their part in your life and you learned something from them. they leave you in so many different ways; some are not good ending as you want it to be. But it's true coz i experienced it for myself. Now that i'm turning twenty facing the fact that i have failed to fullfil my dreams since i was a kid. The dream of becoming somebody and have a great life somewhere in my choosen place has vanished in time just like that. i learned my lesson as i see my failures. that everything that i wanted to be supposed to happen. My perfectionism is tested and sees how i can handle disappointment, especially when it comes to me.
So here I am, ready or not, I must take the result that I didn’t get what I want in my own time. I always believe something bigger and better waiting for me in other time. Taming my anger for being disappointed by my own ego is so hard but it’s just another lesson I must learn.

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