Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The Secret of Self Confidence

Hey, you, ladies and gents with that pout and glare in the mirror look, come here. I have a secret to tell you.

Self confidence is something that a lot of people struggle with.

The first thing I tell someone who has a low self confidence, is to find one thing you love about yourself and build on that. You have to love you for you. You have to joke about your flaws and know that it is just how you were made. When you can laugh at yourself and love yourself, then you can be on the path to self confidence.

Loving yourself is a hard thing to do. I'm not going to sit here and tell you, "Tomorrow you'll wake up, look in the mirror and be glowing with self confidence cause you told yourself last night "I love me"." Nah. It's not that easy, if it was, you wouldn't be dogging yourself over your dress size, your lack of a boyfriend, or how embarrassed you are of a physical flaw you have. It took me a long time to accept that I couldn't wear a size 5 or a 34C bra size. I couldn't shave my hair off and think really curly thoughts in hopes of curly hair. I had to study really hard to get a college degree to prove to myself that I was smart. I had to learn to ignore rude people's opinions and realize rude people hate themselves for their lack of self confidence.

People, especially ho travel around this site picking on people like me with very vocal opinions, body types that are easy to pick on cause I'm seen as "perfect" or "favorable", or because I suck at grammar, doesn't phase me when they attack me. You have to rise above cattiness and immaturity. I look at them and shake my head at their lack of happiness and how they waste their time. I'm no where near perfect, I will never be perfect. I have flaws just like you, it's how I deal with my flaws that makes me confident.

So, my secret to having self confidence isn't really a secret. It's really you neglecting you. You are self confident, you just have to accept that who you are is what you are. You do have something to offer, one thing to contribute to society. Maybe you're not a supermodel, maybe you're a wonderful friend who is there for others. Maybe you're not smart, but you know how to be respectful of others. Maybe you hate that you have to wear glasses, but your eye color is goregous and unique. Look outside the box for the positive and then build on what else you are positive about.

Better yet, make a list of all the positive things you can do and what you like about yourself physically. When your positive list out numbers your negative list and you're proud of that, rejoice in that. Why spend all your life being unhappy? Nobody wants to be with someone who isn't happy in their skin.

If you've ever seen the television show Ugly Betty, you know that Betty is not Heidi Klum or Eva Longoria. But the people around her love her because Betty loves herself. When you love yourself people are drawn to you like a bug to a bug zapper.

You just have to ask yourself are you ready to love you for you and not worry about what others think?

You might not realize how self confident you are until you realize how many blessings in your life you have.

1 comment:

Pollyanna Jacobs said...

I guess what you're saying is that no one else is going to give you your self confidence. It's got to come from inside you and it's going to take some work. You have to start small, focusing on the good parts, even if you only like one little thing about yourself, then soon you'll find something else.