Sunday, January 17, 2010

Life's imperfection

I just turned 20 last year but i don't feel like i'm acting on my age. My teenage life has already ended.
A big part of me are still missing and i still don't know when or how can i fill that empty part of me. It upset me every time my dad will say '' nak! You are supposed to be taking board exam if you proceed to this... If you just blah blah blah blah... It frustrates me at the same time knowing you can't do anything but just listen. My dad didn't a thing to hurt me but it really hurt me BIG TIME!. It hurts me every time i look at my parents working so hard just to give every thing i want. It hurts me for the reason that i know they want to buy something for their selves but they can't because they need to save money for them to pay our tuition fees and other necessities and it hurts me more because i can't do anything and sometimes i just gave them a pain in their head instead of helping them ease the burdens. Few days ago, i gave my self a time to contemplate the past event of my life. Unwanted and unforgettable memories flashes back. Then i realized that we sometimes paint picture with our own mind. We form images that conform with our experiences, the depth and sometimes the pain of the insightful compel us to reflect on how they have touched our lives. The pain is insignificant but the consciousness is not. A lost love, a broken promises, an endless search or perhaps a cry in the dark. Pain has a way of telling us how human we are. Of how weak and strong we truly are. Well, it doesn't mean that my life is full of pain.. But i learned that life isn't all about pain. Life too offers endless embrace, or a simple get together with our loved once or friend. Joy has a way of affirming the rainbows in our eyes. Experiences teach us the hope and despair that we all encounter and sometimes confront. The realization that we learn to appreciate them are the thing that make us go on. We live in a hope that our lives will have meaning and fulfillment and lesson that we learn along the way are embedded in our lives are told by the images of our experiences. The richness or despondency of our lives is manifested by the picture of our past,present and future. We remember and learn. We experience and grow. We hope and we live. Life is to short right? Too short to be wasted they say and i used to believe on that but i still hope and believe to have a bizarre longevity. A long fantastic life ahead of me along with my family,friends and loved once. I just let god guide my way as i am planning to expand my horizon when the right time comes. Life was not meant to be wasted. Life was and is meant to be experienced

1 comment:

-- k ! m -- said...

just live life the way you wanted it. parents will just be there to guide you and not do everything for you. i believe they just want you to have good things and they want the best for you.

just always remember that life is like a great river that it will flow no matter what you do or don't do. whatever wrong things that you have done or good things that you havent done, let it be. your still going to the last part of life so make sure you enjoy it cause your never gonna have life the second time around.