Saturday, January 02, 2010

4 steps on mending a broken heart

Do you ever wonder why it hurts so much when love is lost?

The art of romance is to give your heart without fear. When it breaks, you become lost with only pieces that remain. It’s a journey of rediscovery and reassembly, as your hands bleed with each piece.

To mend a broken heart is a process of healing, while emotional wounds are akin to physical. Some say it’s best to keep busy, but at the end, the hurt remains. Rid the poisons that linger, instead of using a temporary fix. It’s about standing tall, even when the world crumbles before your eyes.

Step One

Cut all forms of communication. It gives a sense of connection, and getting over requires its removal.

Rid yourself from physical memories, items that were significant.

Take drastic measures because you have to be ruthless in determination. Make it an instinct by doing what’s necessary without involving your mind with consequences that don’t exist.

This is disownment. If the phone rings, hang up. If again, do the same. No matter how many times, hang up, or even better, block. Block all known e-mail addresses as well. If you receive e-mails from another account, delete them immediately, emptying the trash altogether and so on. This also goes for online communities. If they come through snail mail, burn without opening.

You have to take action without giving yourself the chance to think.

Step Two

Think logically. Instead of listening to your heart, listen to your mind. Find reasons and make the choice to believe them. Write them down.

Deny yourself the hope that lingers with the logical reasons you’ve found and listed. Use them to refocus your hopes.

Stop trying. Choose, because choices are set in stone. There’s a lot less room to back out.

Time helps nothing. It only provides opportunities to prioritize. What we choose to do with it makes all the difference.

Step Three

If you’re unable to eat or sleep, acknowledge the difference between inability and unwillingness. Force yourself to take care of basic needs.

Take food as you would medication. If you’re eating too much, portion meals and get rid of junk. If you can’t sleep, close your eyes. If you’re not concentrating, think later.

Don’t give yourself the luxury of self-pity.

Step Four

Let yourself cry. Understand it’s simply another way to express feelings and emotions that overflow. Do anything possible to express yourself, through tears, writing, music, etc. Remember the importance of faith.

Remember that crying isn’t a sign of weakness. Letting your heart out is a crucial step. Why not hurt once and for all and be done with it, instead of continuously?

Talk to friends and family. Allow them to be your support system. There’s no shame in asking for help.

Provide yourself the unturned love. However much it hurts, you’ll always remain your own best friend. It’s your responsibility to take initiative.

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