Monday, December 07, 2009

my very sad christmas present

After how many months of attempting to consult an obstetrician/Gynecologist, I have decided to go to my mom's ob-gyn. I was so nervous like hell when my Doctor told me that i need to undergo an ultrasound so i called up dro. When i got my result i went back to my oby and she found out that i have an unilocular cystic ovary on my left ovary.It isn't benigne though but the mere fact that it is still a cyst hurts me more than the pain i felt during my ultrasound. The doctor gave me 3 months of observation for my cyst and if it'll get worse then i need to withstand an operation and it freaks me out. I hate operation regarding obstetrics and gynecology. I can't even stand watching a pregnant woman giving birth when i was still a nursing student. i could feel a mental breakdown coming the moment i step out of the clinic. Right now i'm scared so scared of whatever possiblies awaits me. I hate being cynical but this is what i feel. I am trying to be happy but at times ANGST and FEARS gets the best of me..
Maybe this is my punishment for everything... I realized how sinful i am and it made me cry

1 comment:

-- k e y m -- said...

dont blame yourself.. i mean everything happens for a reason, just dont focus on the downside.. its just one of those challenges to test your faith.. just dont forget everybody, were here to help you out.. xD